Average Reviews:
(More customer reviews)I had struggled for some time in deciding between purchasing the Gerber Gator Machete Jr. and its larger relative, the Gerber Gator Machete Sr. (called Jack by its friends). While the excessive compensatory length of the Gator Machete Sr. was appealing, ultimately I chose to go with the more manageable and compact size of the Gator Jr. I could not be more pleased with my decision.
While backpacking across the Chilean side of Patagonia, I and my native guide (who preferred to be called Anthony Michael Hall - never just Anthony, mind - because his true name could not be spoken outside of his tribe's ancestral territory) became separated when he abandoned me, saying something that my thin grasp of the local dialect could only interpret as the "Weeping Whore's Sickness". Left to fend for myself, I turned to my trusty machete to see me through to safety. Thankfully, the imperative "Fend For Yourself" is confidently printed on the Gator Machete Jr.'s packaging so I knew I would be safe.
Tightening my grip on the rubberized handle of the machete - its texture reminiscent of the hide of the crocodile I wrestled to the death in Australia and had, indeed, considered ideal for the grip of a machete should I have ever needed one - I pressed onward into the arid mountain taiga. The Gator Machete Jr.s blade swung easily and retained an edge capable of slicing through thin branches and skinny cannibals alike, and the saw-toothed saw on the reverse proved useful for both shortening what scant dry wood I could find for burning as well as separating my hand and wrist from my arm when I later found myself pinned beneath a boulder which had mysteriously fallen into my campsite from the cliff above.
The hardened stainless steel blade of the machete could be heated in the fire and proved to be the perfect width for cauterizing the bleeding stump of my severed limb, saving me from a wasting death to gangrene or some undocumented Patagonian infection and which allowed me to continue on in my trek.
Forced to barter the handsome black nylon carrying sheath which my Gator Machete Jr. came with for a threadbare woolen blanket and a surefooted alpaca, I fashioned a lanyard from woven steppe grasses to hang the machete from my neck for the remainder of my journey. After seriously lacerating my chest and stomach on the dangling, swinging blade, it was discovered that the hole conveniently placed at the blade's tip could also be used to suspend the tool from, and at a much reduced risk of self mutilation.
If I were to have one complaint about this handy and most admirable companion, it would be that it makes for a poor soup ladle, a thing discovered much to my embarrassment and at great risk to my personal safety. The noteworthy absence of a crossguard makes it poorly suited to use in duels of honor or any decent act of swashbuckling. Added to this the fact that it does not have "RAMBO" engraved in stark lettering down the blade's length results in a one-two-three punch of shortcomings rivaled only by getting shot down at the bar with the reasons being 1) You're not my type because 2) I'm WAY too young for you and besides, 3) you eat out of the toilet.
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Product Description:
Clear brush... with a vengeance! Gerber Machete, ON SALE! Human-powered weed whacking at its best! Here's a "hedge trimmer" that never runs out of gas. Take the battle to undergrowth on your next camping trip thanks to the blade masters at Gerber. Easy to carry, with a hybrid edge to let you saw as well as slice. Gerber quality: High carbon stainless steel construction; Saw and fine edge combination 10 3/4" blade; Gator-grip no-slip handle; Easy to take with you, fits inside the average backpack; Includes nylon sheath for carrying in the field. 18 3/4" overall. Weighs 14 ozs.; Offered here for LESS! Order yours today! WARNING: You must be 18 or older to purchase Machetes. Machetes cannot be shipped to Marin, Napa, Ventura and Yolo counties, CA; CO; CT; DE; D.C.; FL; MA; Canada or Puerto Rico. Please check your State, County and City laws for restrictions before ordering Machetes. Gerber Machete
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